Do You
Truly Love Me?
John 21:15-19
All of us have different perceptions about love. Our
perception about love is heavily influenced with the culture and the norms that
we are raised with and sadly to say, media.
It means that when a couple say that they love each other,
it does not necessary means that they truly love each other according to their
own standards and expectations. Because “love” for one person does not
necessary means “love” for the other person. Some might categorize love as the
tingling feeling or butterfly inside of your stomach, but for some might be a
serious commitment that goes beyond feeling, and some might have a completely
different ideas about love. That is why it is so important to truly understand
each other’s definition of love before we say that we love that person.
Same thing with God. Do we really understand what God means
with love? Because if our version of love is different with God’s version of
love, then it means that either we have been loving God in such a low standard
or worse, we have been loving Him in a wrong way because of the mislead paradigms.
Jesus truly questions Simon Peter in His appearances to His
disciples after the resurrection. Jesus asked Simon Peter 3 times in a row with
very similar questions but not the same. The questions translated in English will
be all the same, “Simon son of John, Do you truly love me?”. But notice that the
first two questions and the last question were actually different based on the
Greek translation.
There are 2 Greek words of “love” is used here. For the
first two questions, the word “love” that is used is agapao – which speaks of
an intelligent, thoughtful, and purposeful love involving the entire
personality, but primarily a decision of the mind and the will.
For the third question, the word “love” that is used is
phileo – which speaks of a warm, natural and more spontaneous sense of feeling
and affection – a more emotional love.
From this verses, we learn that God has 2 expectations when
we say that we truly love Him. The first expectations , or God’s paradigm of
love, is that we love Him wholeheartedly based on our minds’ decisions and our
constant will and action to prove it. It means that loving God is a conscious commitments
that we have to make, conscious decisions everyday that we love Him by doing
His commandments. To like what He likes and to hate what He hates.
However, making these conscious decision and commitment to
love Him is only halfway right. Notice that Jesus asked Peter, whether Peter
truly love Jesus in a more emotional love (phileo). A love that is full of tingling
sensation, butterflies in our stomach. A love that is full of passion and warm
feelings.
A complete understanding of love according to God is a love
that consist of agapao and phileo. Many God’s children stuck in the zone where
they say that they love God, they make the conscious decisions to follow Him,
but hardly, or even never felt a passionate kind of love with God. Or perhaps,
some of us might have the burning passion to love God, but hardly ever have the
unshakeable commitments to follow and obey His commandments. God wants us to
have and experience both kind of love – agapao and phileo EVERYTIME.
This is our journey in loving God wholeheartedly. Knowing
that these two kinds of love (agapeo and phileo) must exist in our love to God
then, it is our job and duty as God’s children to pursue God not only with our
conscious decisions but with passionate love as well, so that we can truly say,
God I do truly love you! -JH-
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