Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Struggle

© Tony Masiello 2006

What do butterflies have in common with the human spirit? Meet Maggie, a middle aged wife and mother who was about to find out.

Maggie wasn't rich like a millionaire or poor in a manner of being homeless. She was living an average comfortable life. It was made even better when a beautiful baby girl came her way. She and her husband made sure their daughter had her needs met and they were still able to take a yearly vacation by the beach.

Maggie was a partner in her husband's business. They both had a different set of duties which kept everything in balance. One day a devastating blow came to her husband's business, and over a three year period the business dropped out of site. Her husband had to totally reinvent himself and was yearning to fulfill a dream with a new vocation. She was happy for him and supported him fully, but still the money was not coming in.

Maggie began to feel guilty that she wasn't contributing with any kind of income. It had been a long time since she had worked outside the home and had to work for someone else. Needless to say she was scared but still had faith that everything would be okay. She began job hunting and found filling out applications somewhat difficult, especially the part asking for job references. Keep in mind that she was self-employed with her husband for almost 20 years. It felt as though that didn't count for anything as she was never called for an interview.

At the time she was job hunting her mom became more ill than she had been and ended up in the hospital for a week. Once Maggie's mom returned home she became her mom's helper one day a week. She did the shopping, changed sheets, vacuumed and did other things that her mother was not able to do anymore. Of course her mom would pay her for her time and labor
but she still felt she needed to find another source of income.

One of the first applications she had filled out finally came through. She passed the interview with flying colors and was told she was "exactly" what they were looking for. Although it was only part time it was exactly what she wanted. It was important for her to be home when her daughter arrived home from school. She was told they would be in touch when the schedule was ready. Knowing she had the job made her feel contented and productive again.

Within a few weeks though, she received an e-mail saying that the company had changed the job into a full time position and she was not qualified. Maggie was devastated. She felt betrayed and felt she had been lied to. That evening she was alone as her husband and daughter had gone out for the night. She welcomed the aloneness and wanted to drown her sorrows in a hot tub of
bubbles.

As she knew she would, she began to cry, softly at first just from the sheer pain of being rejected. Three long years of struggle had finally caught up with her. Then she became angry; angry at everything from the circumstances that got her there, to God himself. She cried harder and yelled, "What do you want me to do?" She really felt that God had abandoned her.
When she was able to cry no more, she became exhausted and gave up. It was at that moment that a silent idea came to her to offer other elderly people home care assistance.
Using another talent for computers she printed off some flyers and cards and distributed them to her church, grocery stores and even placed a small ad in the newspaper. Within a week she had procured two new clients.

Now, even though she's not a CEO of a major company or a power player she feels happy and productive again. So, had God really abandoned her? Let's look at nature for the lessons and the answer.

Before a butterfly can emerge out of it's chrysalis it has to go through a lot of struggling. Yes, struggling. Each time it lunges out to escape, acids are being removed from its wings. If someone were to come along and break the chrysalis open for it then the butterfly would die from those acids. In essence the struggle is necessary for the butterfly to survive. Then in the stillness, when the struggle is over, the butterfly can come out and share its beauty with the world.
We as humans are not any different. There are times that we need to struggle, to rid ourselves of the acids that make up sadness, fear, and anger. It is only at this time when we are exhausted and still that we begin to hear the Universe whisper to us.

3E: there is always a price to pay for everything that is worth it in life. The question now is no longer, "Can I do it?" because every struggle that we will go through, will eventually takes us to the next level of life, the butterfly stages for our own chrysalis. Because persistency is the mother of success. But the question now has become, " Will I do it?"
Every single life-impacting decision that we make, start with a single answer. The answer for that question. Thus, make your decision today to be persistent, to change, and to impact others. Never give up while you are struggling through your own chrysalis. Because an opportunity of a lifetime has to be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity itself. We won't see the glory of the opportunity if we give up now.

3E= Enterpreneur, Entertainer, Educator

The ability to get the job done in full creativity and beyond expectation, no matter what it takes. That's the spirit of an Enterpreneur.
The ability to show people that life is full of hope and operate best in laughter and joy. That's the spirit of an Entertainer.
The ability to influence changes in mind, thus alternate the life's courses of others for eternity. That's the spirit of an Educator.

So who am I? I am Jimmy and I am a 3E: Enterpreneur, Entertainer, Educator.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

POPULARITY VERSUS PRODUCTIVITY

taken from Leadership Wired - June 2007.

Popularity and productivity sound like fraternal twins, but in reality they can look as different as Paris Hilton and Warren Buffet. If productivity is a Honda Civic, then popularity is a Lamborghini Diablo with a bad transmission. In leadership, substance trumps style—every time.

A Popular Flop
Among the litany of dotcom flameouts, Pets.com is notable for the mass popularity it achieved, and infamous for its failure to generate even a cent of profit. As a 1998 startup, Pets.com was founded upon the idea of selling pet supplies to online shoppers. The darling of venture capitalists, Pets.com raised a spectacular $82.5 million of capital during its initial public offering in 2000. Shortly thereafter, Pets.com poured $1.2 million into a Super Bowl commercial. Featuring the company mascot, a sock puppet dog, the advertisement was a smash hit and was voted the best Super Bowl ad by USA Today. The business’ catchy slogan “Because Pets Can't Drive!” announced its arrival to the American market, and consumers flocked to the company’s website. Fellow dotcom, Amazon, even bought into the craze—literally—purchasing 50% ownership of Pets.com.

Unfortunately for Pets.com (and fans of their sock puppet mascot), they never garnered enough business to offset massive startup costs sunk into warehousing and marketing. The dotcom bubble burst and financing dried up. Only nine months after going public, Pets.com went out of business. In short, Pets.com lacked a productive business model which could translate popularity into profits.

Lovable Losers
The Chicago Cubs epitomize the concept of the popular, but ineffective franchise. Nicknamed, “The Lovable Losers” by their fans, the Cubs consistently play their way to the bottom of the standings, despite having one of the higher payrolls in Major League Baseball. Although the Cubs have endeared themselves to Chicagoans, who pack Wrigley Field for every game, the team cannot seem to deliver results. With each passing year of futility, the Cubs prove how disconnected popularity can be from performance.

Leadership Application
What can leaders learn from Pets.com and the Chicago Cubs? Well, a couple of simple lessons.
First, as the proverb says, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” A prudent leader looks past appearances to discern the heart of a matter. Perhaps it’s the potential hire with the glittering resume, who, upon further review, falsified his achievements. Or maybe it’s a potential partner with the captivating sales pitch, who after being researched, turns out to have a track record of unethical behavior. Or possibly it’s a sparkling business opportunity that promises growth and brand recognition, but, after being reviewed, would clearly steer the company away from its mission.

Second, leaders build margins not image. A leader may be forced to take unpopular stands for the good of the company. Popularity isn’t bad, but decisions made solely on the basis of popular opinion can be devastating. Leaving a plush corporate campus for smaller, more functional office space doesn’t earn a leader a pat on the back, but it may protect the company from financial doom. Layoffs are agonizingly unpopular, but they may the only solution to a downturn in the economy. Leaders are willing to endure the criticism of making tough calls that fly in the face of popular opinion.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Learning to Listen

Author Unknown


We all know what it's like to get that phone call in the middle of the night. This night was no different. Jerking up to the ringing summons, I focused on the red, illuminated numbers of my clock. It was midnight and panicky thoughts filled my sleep-dazed mind as I grabbed the receiver.

'Hello?' My heart pounded, I gripped the phone tighter and eyed my husband, who was now turning to face my side of the bed. 'Mum?' The voice answered. I could hardly hear the whisper over the static. But my thoughts immediately went to my daughter. When the desperate sound of a young crying voice became clear on the line, I grabbed for my husband and squeezed his wrist.

'Mum, I know it's late. But don't ... don't say anything until I finish. And before you ask, yes I've been drinking. I nearly ran off the road a few miles back and...' I drew in a sharp, shallow breath, released my husband and pressed my hand against my forehead. Sleep still fogged my mind, and I attempted to fight back the panic. Something wasn't right.

'... and I got so scared. All I could think of was how it would hurt you if a policeman came to your door and said I'd been killed. I want to come home. I know running away was wrong. I know you've been worried sick. I should have called you days ago but I was afraid, afraid ...'
Sobs of deep-felt emotion flowed from the receiver and poured into my heart. Immediately I pictured my daughter's face in my mind, and my fogged senses seemed to clear, 'I think .... '
'No! Please let me finish! Please!' She pleaded, not so much in anger, but in desperation. I paused and tried to think what to say. Before I could go on, she continued. 'I'm pregnant, Mum. I know I shouldn't be drinking now ... especially now, but I'm scared, Mum. So scared!'
The voice broke again, and I bit into my lip, feeling my own eyes fill with moisture. I looked up at my husband, who sat silently mouthing, 'Who is it?'
I shook my head and when I didn't answer, he jumped up and left the room, returning seconds later with a portable phone held to his ear. She must have heard the click in the line because she asked, 'Are you still there? Please don't hang up on me! I need you. I feel so alone.'

I clutched the phone and stared at my husband, seeking guidance. 'I'm here, I wouldn't hang up,' I said. 'I should have told you, mum. I know I should have told you. But, when we talk, you just keep telling me what I should do. You read all those pamphlets on how to talk about sex and all, but all you do is talk. You don't listen to me. You never let me tell you how I feel. It is as if my feelings aren't important. Because you're my mother you think you have all the answers. But sometimes I don't need answers. I just want someone to listen.'

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stared at the how-to-talk-to-your-kids pamphlets scattered on my nightstand. 'I'm listening,' I whispered. 'You know, back there on the road after I got the car under control, I started thinking about the baby and taking care of it. Then I saw this phone booth and it was as if I could hear you preaching to me about how people shouldn't drink and drive. So I called a taxi. I want to come home.'

'That's good honey,' I said, relief filling my chest. My husband came closer, sat down beside me and laced his fingers through mine.
'But you know, I think I can drive now.'
'No!' I snapped. My muscles stiffened and I tightened the clasp on my husband's hand. 'Please, wait for the taxi. Don't hang up on me until the taxi gets there.'
'I just want to come home, Mum.'
'I know. But do this for your Mum. Wait for the taxi, please.'

I listened to the silence in fear. When I didn't hear her answer, I bit into my lip and closed my eyes. Somehow I had to stop her from driving. 'There's the taxi now.' Only when I heard someone in the background asking about a Yellow Cab did I feel my tension easing.
'I'm coming home, Mum.' There was a click, and the phone went silent. Moving from the bed, tears forming in my eyes, I walked out into the hall and went to stand in my 16-year-old daughter's room. My husband came from behind, wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on the top of my head.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks. 'We have to learn to listen,' I said to him. He studied me for a second, and then asked, 'Do you think she'll ever know she dialed the wrong number?'
I looked at our sleeping daughter, then back at him. 'Maybe it wasn't such a wrong number.'
'Mum, Dad, what are you doing?' The muffled voice came from under the covers. I walked over to my daughter, who now sat up staring into the darkness. "We're practicing," I answered. "Practicing what?'" she mumbled and lay back on the mattress, but her eyes already closed in slumber. "Listening," I whispered and brushed a hand over her cheek.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Respect and Give

I've learned one important lesson last weekend from my life-coach.
A statement that complete all the puzzles about respect and giving.

"Respect others not because for who they are, but for who we are."